Rewiring my Brain Through Gratitude (and other such nonsense)

February 8th, 2019 by katy

So, it’s been quite a while since I last updated this blog of mine. If I’m honest, I really do not have the most exciting of lives. Most recently, me and the Boo went on a whirlwind tour of the US. We (by we I mean him, I didn’t drive at all) drove to the 414, and than on to Holland, MI. Sorry, we only drove through my favorite city, but a part of my heart misses Chicago like mad. From Michigan we went on through several states to Las Vegas where we renewed our vows in front of Elvis.

Me and the Boo with Elvis

Viva Las Vegas!!

That was a blast.  I got to see my niece, who has and always will have a sizable piece of my heart. I got to eat at all of my (two) favorite MKE area restaurants.  An all-around damn fine trip.

 

Aside from that fun adventure my end of 2018 beginning of 2019 has consisted of me losing BOTH another dollhouse contest and a chili cook-off. I’d like to say I handled both like a pro(because I have tried to rewire my brain to think more positively), but the sad fact is, when I didn’t win the chili cook-off, I shot a VERY negative text to the Boo (who was at work) regarding both the other contestants as well as all the people present at this function.

 

In an effort to “rewire” my brain (as I mentioned above), I have decided this year that I was going to start journaling and writing 3 things I am grateful for every day. I used to journal quite often as a child/teen/young adult. I’ve kept every one of my journals. Occasionally I look through some of them. My initial response is almost always (forgive the French here) “The f*ck?” Needless to say I was a bit depressed as a child, and than a lot depressed as a teen/young adult.  Than I got over myself and found a sense of humor, and that seemed to be the end of my journalling.

 

Until now. My journal entries are far less depressing. In fact they are basically non-existent. As it happens, I find it more gratifying to just tell all my thoughts to the Boo than to actually write them down to no one.  It’s like our own private version of Tuesdays with Maury, and I will henceforth refer to it as Everyday Complaining with Katy. And frankly, once I have voiced my thoughts it seems redundant to then write them down. As well, the universe probably doesn’t need to hear my opinions more than once.  And I don’t really see the purpose of writing things down anymore. Whats going to happen to this stuff? In a hundred years is someone going to go to an archives somewhere and read about what a loon I was? Do I really want people to know my deepest and darkest feelings and thoughts? Anyway, I have come to the conclusion that journaling is not all that.

 

I am however really enjoying writing down things I am grateful for. And it certainly isn’t all that easy to do. After listing the big ones, (in no particular order, the Boo, Lou, Batsugi and Bastille) I started having trouble thinking up 3 things every day, that didn’t include any of the four just mentioned. I’m really a very simple person at my core, but my mind tends towards darker places. To focus on positives is just not a natural thing for me, but I’m always game for mind experiments. For this blog I looked back at some of what I have been grateful for. Some stuff is really silly. After binge watching Netflix one afternoon the TV show Friends made the list. Another day, I ate an entire bag of peanuts, and so peanuts made the list for that day. Some things seem silly, but they really aren’t. Concrete Blonde made a list one day. And for good reason. Their music always reminds me of two friends I had in high school. Neither of whom I talk to now, but both of whom I miss.

 

One day my brother made the list (even though the asshat won’t come visit us). But seriously what a great thing it is to have a sibling.  They are probably the most likely people to share the same common backround. Maybe this isn’t as true with siblings farther apart in age, but me and my brother are only two years difference, so basically we’re pretty much the same age. But how great it is when I am nostalgic about something that I can just text my brother and be like “OMG, remember this…” and he’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

 

They really do say that writing out gratitudes can rewire your brain in 21 days. I’m not sure who “they” are. This could (and probably is) a bunch of bunk. Around the end of January I asked people closest to me if they thought I was different than I was on January first. No one really gave me a definitive answer. The boo says I’m not as angry, but to be fair around the same time I started writing gratitude lists, I also stopped reading/watching the news and have essentially stopped looking at social media. So he couldn’t say what that was from. But I think it has made a difference. No, I’m never going to be a Pollyanna. But when I do visit my darker places, I now have over 100 (and growing everyday) reasons that I can physically see that remind me that I have a fair amount of light going on in my life. I have the Boo, I have my furbabies, and Bastille really is the best band ever. And yes, maybe I wasted an afternoon watching Friends on Netflix, but it was an afternoon I spent laughing, and how can that possibly be a bad thing?

To wrap up what I hope was a (sort of) inspiring post, I will leave pictures of my not award winning dollhouse. I admit, I didn’t expect it to win anything. The outside was not that great, but the inside was very cool. At least I thought so. This year’s kit is a smaller kit that they call the Serendipity Shed. I am going to take that and add onto it and make a recreation of the entire B and B. I’m sure it will be a disaster, but what the hell… go big or go home.

Miniature shrin to Lil' Sebastian

Miniature shrine to Lil’ Sebastian

Exterior of my dollhouse.

Note the green and gold at the very top.

Intrerior of my dollhouse side facing Interior of my dollhouse, facing back wall, and the cool tree bookcase Interior of my dollhouse. Front facing wall

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

»